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Pages: it's so gay...not GAY. [1]
Author Topic: It's so gay...not GAY.
sedillo

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2011-02-08 3-43-55-

it's so gay...not GAY. You know how the word cool can mean that something is really awesome (as in hot, en fuego, etc) but the actual definition of the word is the exact opposite of how we use it? It's silly to think of the phrase "that's so gay" as offensive in this day and age, especially when we're talking about casual slang terms. Let's take back the power of the word, shall we? If you find slang offensive and specifiy if it's being directed in a negative way then I would have a talk with your relatives, otherwise just chalk it up to a new day, a new dawn and a new dictionary filled with bad words that we're now allowed to say. Welcome to the future, Nigga. Now what about nuking some unborn gay baby whales for Jesus?
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elizaveta

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2011-02-10 8-55-06-

Its amazing that people don't recognize oppression when they hear it. In this day and age where there are NOT equal rights in the US. 49 states and the federal government do not recognize my worth as a stable married couple. In this day and age where I can not serve openly in the military. In this day and age where I have to listen to people seriously debate the "morality of my chosen lifestyle." In this day and age where I am STILL discriminated against in my work (try working at a Catholic university-- there are more of them out there than you think) In this day and age where I am not allowed to adopt ren in every state and people debate whether or not I will "be good for " and adoption agencies CLOSE rather than allow gays to adopt (as in MA) In this day and age where we still have conversations about brother and sisters asking us not to be be affectionate around their . In this day and age when Matthew Shepard was only the most high profile hate crime, not the only hate crime. Its amazing that we are so okay with people tossing around the word "gay" to hurt each other as an insult. They aren't using it to mean a good thing. There is a reason for that. Oppression and homophobia aren't gone, just more subtle.
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eley

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2011-02-11 11-56-18

I speak up if I hear using it in a pejorative context on public transit. I just say "you know, that's a pretty ignorant thing to say. You have no idea how many gay people are in this subway car right now." Sometimes, like teenagers do, they'll make a big scene - but it's mostly to cover up their embarrassment. They'll be more aware next time they try and use this phrase. Funny, I was corrected by someone for saying "I'm so lame." and was told it's offensive to disabled folks. I asked my sister if she was offended and she replied: "That's such a lame comment. Besides, I'm not disabled, I'm a person with a disability!" Tongue firmly in cheek. I think it's about picking your battles, but also about not turning a blind eye, or ear, to ignorant and offensive behaviour.
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mawhinney

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2011-02-12 23-52-09

its so ghey... is "really" it. Anyway, not condoning it. When I have heard say that I have on occasion asked them about it. I also have played online games quite extensively and asked there too.. I try not to be mean or rude about it but rather approach it in a curious way.. like asking what does that mean and how would you feel if someone said (enter some other example here that might be more obvious). Sometimes it is received, sometimes not. Thing is parrot whatever they hear without thinking. Goal is to make them think about it. Many are way more awesome than we give them credit for if you just get them to stop and explore their thoughts and feelings.
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  • huitt

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    2011-02-20 16-27-29

    Taking offense You can only take offense. No can offend you, even if they set out to do so. Taking offense has to do with YOUR emotions. They are your emotions. Own 'em. No else has control over your emotions. Do you want to give away control of your emotions to someone else? If you don't like to be offended then don't choose to be. Don't put your sh*t on someone else. Why do people have so many chips on their shoulder. Christ. Tell, someone to have a nice day and they take offense. Get over it. I think of Southpark when I hear "that's so gay". This thread is so gay.
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    stanleigh

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    2011-03-02 14-07-06

    well you know just because it is funny to some in a cartoon does not mean it is less offensive to others in real life. In fact, that is why many of when we hear that term used challenge the user to question their reason for doing so. I don't like the use of that phrase and I ask(even gay friends) why use it and how could they say it differently. I won't take offense to your ignorance just your justification of oppression.
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    Isobel

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    2011-04-06 17-58-30

    I just found out this week that my brother and his friends say that a lot. They're grown ups with and whatnot. I have been out for maybe x years now, and they have always been "ok" with it. I wasn't so much offended as I was saddened. It made me really, really sad. I do get offended when other straight people use this expression, which is almost always used in a negative way. Most gay people that use it are "owning" it, as somebody mentioned, and I appreciate that. I think I would be inclined to say something if my nieces started using it to denote something negative. I could not just sit back and let my family treat me with such disrespect. And to everybody who is saying that it is not a big deal, you're wrong. It carries an undercurrent of the homophobia and hatred that we have worked so hard the past few decades to overcome and change. Even a seemingly small phrase like this carries some significant weight. As long as people think we're fine with being insulted with phrases like this, how are we going to gain respect enough to, oh I don't know, have rights?
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    zagorski

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    2011-04-27 6-24-12-

    these days. that's way to look at it. they don't realize they're saying something that could upset or offend others. they say it because they heard it on South Park or something. they're quite self-centered. so i'd say you have options... x. ignore the behavior. x. offer them other words... "really? you think that's homosexual? i think what you mean is 'lame' or 'stupid.'" maybe buy them thesauri for christmas. i usually choose the xnd, especially since i have plenty of thesauri at my disposal in the classroom. :-) of course, my don't know about me, but that's a whole other story.
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    Nagaraj

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    2011-07-07 18-43-33

    My own kid says it ...all the time despite the fact that she has lesbian parents. I'm am constantly telling her that she shouldn't say it. She says, "It's not meant to offend any It's just a word." Though I am not personally offended by it, it still offends some people and I am sensitive to that. I tell her she should use the word "campy" and she agrees, but she says it just doesn't come out as easily as "gay." Imagine that.
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    cuzzort

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    2011-08-14 17-10-17

    I hear my young adult ren using it Usually they are not even referring to anything related to sexual orientation. When they were little I tried to get them to replace the word stupid with silly, but now "gay" seems to often be the replacement. I know that they hang out with gay friends sometimes, I wonder how their peers handle it? Perhaps campy is an interesting alternative, but I don't think it will be as easy as changing over to silly was when they were preschoolers. We tend to be a sarcastic house hold, and sometimes I know they use it to be obnoxious to mom. But that is more similar to of my GLBT friends playing with it.
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    myra

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    2011-08-21 1-58-16-

    I think it is offensive. I always talk to the (or adults) who say it. No, I don't think they are refering to sexuality, but still. I just ask them how a gay person in earshot may feel about the statement. If "Joey" says it, I sometimes ask how he might feel if someone uses "That's so Joey" as an insult. What if someone said "that's so black" or, ahem, "that's so Jew" as an insult?
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    clapsaddle

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    2011-10-04 18-26-23

    touche. it took a lot of time and education to battle anti-semitism-isms and jokes. I still here anti-semite comments being used to describe someone who's cheap or greedy. I never hesitate to comment on the prejudiced remark.
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  • marietta

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    2011-11-15 2-36-36-

    here = hear
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  • Lizabeth

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    2012-01-05 6-56-37-

    my are biracial and they play with those words and issues also. I think the young ones are getting so far removed from the reality of how the words were used offensively, and caused serious life repercussions, that they no longer perceive harm from them. I think their generation is assuming equality and respect for all.
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  • Kai-Wai

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    2012-03-09 13-08-29

    Okay... Then why don't they say "thats such a nigger move" If its only words?
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  • ohmer

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    2012-03-27 10-57-48

    perhaps they would They hear it in music all the time. Black culture uses the "n" word a lot. And it can be applied to white people too.
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    muenchow

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    2012-07-08 18-02-57

    I ask them what they mean by that "That's so gay" "What do you mean? it's attracted to other things like that?" "No I mean it's stupid" "Oh, so you're saying that gays are stupid?" And then I have fun watching them backpedal their way out of that The fact that they're using it to mean something negative (usually without thinking) explains why many of us dislike the expression.
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    kirwan

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    2012-07-20 13-16-11

    you wouldn't think this post belongs here As it is about stabbing monkeys. But at the very very end there is a new anti racism campaign with the slogan "racism is gay"! Keep in mind it is The Onion.
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  • s ion

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    2012-10-06 12-42-10

    Yeah, I hate this. Also the backlash. Co-worker: "Omigawd, that's so gay!" Me: "Uh, you know that I'm gay, right?" Co-worker: "Oh, when I say 'gay' lke that, it doesn't mean GAY-gay, it means like, you know, 'totally lame!' " Me: blank stare....
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  • elicker

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    2012-11-27 3-30-20-

    Thinking about all you've suggested and am so surprised that opinions vary so much. I remember in the 'x's that we "decided" to take back the word "DYKE". It sparked the same kind of debate. Some women were soooooo ofended and others were insistent that it was empowering. Personally, I started wearing a little ceramic pin that said "Dyke" in purple letters. It was small and I wore it, on the lapel of my suit, to work each day. It's amazing how such a small thing could attract so much attention. I like what silliness says about asking what they mean ... hahaha, "you mean it's attracted to the same thing". That's priceless. I also like what Randybutch says (well, I'd probably like anything from someone who s herself by that name) about it just being offensive. These are great and I love their parents too so I want to make them think about what they are saying and not attack them at all. My brother would be fine with me talking with his ~ absolutely. Ironiy, even though he doesn't understand my choices he would defend me to any I'm guessing he just doesn't "hear" this expression because he's straight and because he's so proud of his ren. The didn't use the expression directly to me ~ I saw it posted in F. My nephew said he was "icing his gay arm" after an injury. My niece didn't say it butof her friends wrote it on her wall. It was also about something that didn't work out the way they wanted. So, the reason I'm asking is because it was so clearly used to mean something not right or good. The niece is x and the nephew is x. That's old enough to understand. Would any of you post to their F wall with a question about what does that term mean or would you make it a private message?
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