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Pages: needed to vent [1]
Author Topic: Needed to vent
marsala

Sexy
Posts: 3

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2011-02-18 20-47-41

needed to vent Sorry ladies, just need to vent. Am rather upset with my parents, despite my ripe old age of 29. And maybe it's my fault, because I haven't come out to them, but since my mom caught me with a girl when I was 20, and I'm slightly more butch than femme, you would think that they'd know. Or maybe they do... I'm Asian, Catholic, and hold an advanced degree. I'm the good Asian daughter except I'm a fucking LESBIAN, and my parents can't stand it. I went to get a hair cut last week, and what I intended to be a trim ended up looking like a regulation cut. Since then I haven't heard the end of it. At a family barbeque Tuesday, my mother felt like she had to explain to everyone why my hair was so short. This evening over dinner they ragged on me again, and I pretty much said, "If I hear anything about my haircut again, I'm going to get a buzz cut. I don't tell you how to dress or what to look like, so leave it alone." I've been dropping hints about my sexuality, but I'm afraid to let them know until I'm completely independent of them. I'm way too old to be even partially dependent, but it's part of the culture and the price I've paid for being in school for so long. (Sigh!) Well, at least they've stopped trying to make me wear a dress.
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Barbee

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Posts: 5

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2011-03-04 8-21-17-

Sorry to hear about your situation I'm kind of unusual in that I totally broke from my family when I was 17. To date I haven't met any other Asians who've done the same thing; even the queer ones often recoil at that. Still, I do get why others stay, even if it wasn't the choice I made. Still, I'm sorry they're giving you so much grief. It's probably going to stay sucky though, until you move out of the house and are on your own. Independence comes in many more forms than just monetary and housing. Once you're gone, they really can't boss you around anymore. How many more years of school do you have?
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stege

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Posts: 4

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2011-03-26 3-56-02-

thanks It helps to know that someone gets what I'm talking about, and even how being Asian fits into the situation. I'm done with school now, and just waiting on some interviews. (Read: waiting for money to move out. )My parents want me to stay in state, but the way things are going, I'll most likely be offered jobs in the Chicago area.
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Charis

Sr. Member
Posts: 2

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2011-05-23 6-56-15-

It is a tougher row to hoe If you've been with the parentals for longer than most, it means they have more years with which to sink the claws of their expectations into your soul. As difficult as my own situation was, I don't envy my brethren who stayed on. Well, at least you've graduated. And congratulations. Hopefully the job offers and money will arrive soon. Which part of Asia is your family from? Me = NYC born, parents from Shanghai.
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keely

Full Member
Posts: 23

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2011-06-12 5-57-04-

Oh, so that's why you get it... My parents are Filipino-Chinese. I was born and raised in Chicago. I actually lived away from home in high school and college, and med school. I moved back immediately afterward, financially drained, and it seems they're making up for lost time. It's driving me crazy. I honestly have to admire you though for leaving when you were x. I don't think I would have been brave enough to do it.
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  • weide

    Sr. Member
    Posts: 7

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    2011-07-27 3-50-23-

    Yeah, tell me about it. Mix in the superstition and Catholicism, with keeping up appearances, and boy howdy do I want to poke my eyes out with the nearest set of chopsticks... One can only hope they'll consider me grown up at some point. Right now they're really passive aggressive about it. One minute they're ing me at x p.m. to ask what time I'm coming home, and the next minute everything is my choice and they'll just pray and suffer silently. (Don't get me wrong, I love them, but GEEZ!!) About balut... I tried it once. The thing wasn't too old I guess. They turned the lights down so I wouldn't see anything. The second one had feathers. I swear. I took one look at that think and ran screaming into the night. I totally damaged my butch image there.
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  • Mozelle

    Sexy
    Posts: 5

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    2011-09-03 0-12-25-

    hehehe I've actually yet to meet any queer women with Filipino roots who liked balut. The one queer girl I do know who likes it is actually Vietnamese, they've got something similar. Different name of course but the concept sounded the same. There are Vietnamese places that sell it here but I'd have to be able to ask for it by name. I intend to try one sometime, just because. Though I have to admit that going by descriptions, I haven't got high hopes! Oh well, hold on tight. It won't be for long. x-)
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    kestel

    Full Member
    Posts: 51

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    2011-10-23 15-04-20

    Maybe it's the fact that balut is reminiscent of some parts of the male anatomy, and in fact, in the Philippines some people use the word as slang for scrotum. As a lesbian, I personally don't find male anatomy very stimulating. Or maybe it was the feathers. Thanks Cookin, the smile is back on this face. :)
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    nalbandian

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    Posts: 4

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    2011-12-21 20-19-33

    sorry about your situation an ex of mine, was Thai-Chinese, but was mostly raised by her mothers side, and they had lived in the Phillipines as well. So she had the chinese mom guilt on top of the catholic guilt. she had a very hard time dealing with her sexuality and her family. it was always very frustrating to explain to people why she wasnt out to her family, and why i was the 'best friend' For the most part, i think us whities, dont really understand the cultural aspect. i understand it a little bit better now, but by no means am i able to truly empathize. she was also butch identified, and eventually did come out to her mom, and things were ok. they were hard, but ok in the long run. i wish you the best of luck. also, congratufuckinglations on finishing medical school. a massive achievement.
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    wike

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    Posts: 17

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    2012-01-20 7-42-04-

    she finished med school but no residency? don't believe everything you hear on the internet
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  • jeanes

    Newbie
    Posts: 31

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    2012-03-31 4-58-21-

    gee, asswipe glad to see you were paying ntion to the conversation. remember the part about coming back to where her family lives right when she finished? maybe she wants to do research? or something else that doesnt absolutely require a residency?
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  • prudente

    Newbie
    Posts: 15

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    2012-07-14 21-05-54

    (((((((((((((((((((((intherain)))))))))))))))))) I hear you. Just keep on keeping on until you are able to tell them the truth. Know that there are a lot of us out there in similar situations, if that is of any comfort.
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